Sort of like a Birth Plan

Guidelines for Attending Our Birth

Birth is a very powerful experience for everyone involved. I very much want each of you there with us, for different reasons, but I need to lay out some guidelines for what I need for this all to work To begin with, I need everyone to understand they are here to share in a rite of passage and share an experience, very much like attending a wedding. You are there as my friends, my family, my support system. I understand that each of you has your own skills. I know what those are and will ask for them, if needed. It’s no one’s job, but mine, to manage my birth. Please refrain from attempting to do so. If you find yourself scared, worried, nervous or feeling anything negative at all, please go outside until you can collect yourself. Even being in the same room with me while you feel negative could negatively impact my energy and that would be BAD.

Under no circumstances should the words "doctor", "hospital", "transfer", or the suggestion of medication be used within my earshot. As I’m in transition, it’s possible I might say things like, “I can’t do this.” or ask to go to the hospital or that I need medication. I’d like to be allowed to whine about this. No one is to transport me or call 911 or anything crazy unless it’s abundantly clear that we are in jeopardy. Even in transition, I would likely know when it was truly emergent and so would Morgan or Brian. Above all, please understand that it is VERY NORMAL to feel scared or used up near the end. It is truly uncommon for a big time emergency to happen, so it’s really unlikely, regardless.

There is going to be nudity. I also plan to use whatever works for me, and that might include sexual things like nipple stimulation. I’ll ask for privacy if I want it.

Please do not alter the environment of the house. When you are finished please put it back the way it was if you must change something. There should be no loud, distracting sounds, including cell phones. If you need your phone, that’s fine – turn it on vibrate and if someone calls, leave the room and possibly go outside to take the call.

You are free to come and go anywhere at any time. If there is a need for people to leave, Brian or I will say so. Also, please be aware that what I might need, at any given time, could change. I might decide I just can’t handle you in the room with me. Please try to not take this personally. Either way, unless you do something truly offensive, you can probably come back in when I’m pushing in time to meet Bastian

Please take pictures of everything! When Bastian is crowning, avoid using a flash.

I will attempt to speak for myself and my needs whenever possible, but please respect Brian’s word, just as much as mine. If he says we need something, please do it immediately. If I ask for something, even if it seems small or trivial, please do it immediately. Otherwise it’ll lay on my mind and distract my focus.

I probably don’t want to be alone. If I do, I’ll say so. If Brian has to leave her to take care of something, it would be nice if someone else would stay in the room. Mostly, I’ll want Brian and be focused on him. While we will certainly need and appreciate everyone’s help keeping an eye on Declan, he should be free to come and go as he pleases and not restricted from being with me.

It will probably get too overwhelming with everyone else packed in the room with me. I’d prefer to have two other people (in addition to Brian and Declan), at any given time, inside my labor bubble. It’s possible more people could be in the room if they stand at the wall and remain silent, but I won’t know that until the time comes. Above all, don’t crowd into the room with me, don’t talk loudly or a lot, avoid making noise and follow my lead. It’s probably best if people tag out, so to speak. As I said above, by the time I’m pushing, it won’t matter. You can probably all crowd in for the actual birth, no problem!